Your reaction to their distance
Their distance is half the picture. Your reaction to it is the other half, and it is the half you can change.
What you do when they go quiet
When someone we love goes distant, the natural reaction is to reach for them: more messages, more questions, more effort. Or, if that has failed too many times, to go cold in return, to show them how it feels.
Both make complete sense, and both tend to make their distance bigger. Today is just about noticing yours, without judging it.
Self-monitoring, writing down what you do in the moment, is a basic tool of cognitive behavioural therapy. You cannot choose a different response to something you do automatically until you can see it happening.
What do you do when they pull away?
The last time you did your most common move, what did you hope would happen, and what actually happened?
Take this with you
You cannot control their distance. You can see, and change, your half of the response.