4 weeks · 20 sessions · about 12 minutes each
Earned Security
Quieting the anxious alarm in relationships
For you if an unanswered message can take over your whole day, and closeness never quite feels safe enough to relax into.
By the end
- Knowing what sets your alarm off, and catching it before it runs
- Asking directly for what you need instead of testing
- Soothing yourself first, so reassurance is a bonus rather than a lifeline
- Noticing when calm reads as boring, and choosing it anyway
How it works
- Five short sessions a week, on your phone, at your own pace.
- Everything you write is saved, and read back to you at the end of each week.
- Draws on attachment-based work, emotionally focused therapy, CBT, DBT distress tolerance, ACT. Self-help, not therapy.
This is a self-help programme, not therapy. If anxiety about relationships is stopping you sleeping, eating or getting through the day, or if you have thoughts of harming yourself, please speak to your GP or a mental health professional. In the UK, Samaritans are free and available day and night on 116 123.
Week 1. See it
FreeWeek 2. Understand it
Bundle- 1Where the alarm was setAttachment origins · reflection
- 2Why hot and cold hooks youPsychoeducation · intermittent reinforcement
- 3The stories anxiety tellsCBT · cognitive distortions
- 4When anxious meets avoidantEFT · pursue and withdraw
- 5What reassurance can and can't doMaintenance cycle · reassurance seeking